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Beauty in the Breakdown

Gayle Carter in Espita, Yucatán

Recently I worked through an ontological business coaching program with Gayle Carter with This Epic Life. At first instinct, I thought I would be guided to a better place on how to operate my business, interact with my peers, and ride the wave of success into the sunset.

Little did I know, that my perception of who I am, my ego-driven outlook, and my learned reality would be flipped upside down, pureed, seared, and delivered with a chef’s kiss. I was about to learn the recipe for success lay in unraveling who I am, not by adding more.

I learned that a life as it’s always been lived, will not create the life I want. Despite how much I push myself to evolve, the evolution won’t resonate with anyone, including myself, until I authentically feel myself in the work I do.

This was scary. And so my mind spoke these words:

I’m an idiot.

Nobody cares.

I never make money.

I’m not strong enough.

I’m not supported.

I’m stuck in cement.

I don’t have enough experience.

I can’t stick to it.

Give up NOW!

Run while you can.

Join the masses, be thankful, and be quiet.

The end.

And then there was Gayle.  With each session, I was equally optimistic and excited to speak with her, then I’d bombard her with a litany of  “ya but….”.

Her coaching never wavered, her spirit never died, and she never agreed with me.

Gayle held a mirror to my shadow and said - “get cozy, she’s your new BFF”. Gayle also helped me form an exuberant amount of awareness around the narratives I create in my mind and consequently, the energy I create that physically blocked growth.

I learned that chaos cannot deliver consistent quality. And, being over-extended does create greater self-worth or fulfillment. It pulls me further from my purpose.

The work I did with Gayle is just one ring created from a pebble dropped. I hope to continue working with her in the year ahead. I’m almost on pins and needles to know where it can go from here. I know there is so much more to explore.

Gayle helped me cultivate a more stable and aware relationship with myself, which then trickled into everyone around me. She helped me come to a place of peace. And to know that in times of doubt, uncertainty, and frustration - peace is possible.

I encourage anyone seeking to improve how they interact with their business, community, and most importantly yourself - to seek a consultation with Gayle.

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