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Great Advice. (from Violette_FR)

This is not kosher and I hope I'm not breaking the law. I had to share this with you guys. Below is an excerpt from a newsletter written by one of my makeup artist mentors, Violette FR. She doesn't know she's my mentor, but she is! I've been following Violette for nearly 6 years. She inspires my artistry and my business consistently. I adore her zoomed-out approach to beauty; and how she guides her followers + readers to infuse authenticity and vulnerability into the tiniest details of their expression.

Every Sunday she delivers a newsletter that helps me re-frame my perception of expression. This one in particular spoke volumes. It articulated exactly how I feel when I try to help other individuals see + feel the possibilities that relate to their style. And of course, this trickles into my vision for my clients.

I hope it inspires you as much as it did me. You can sign up for Violette's emails and Sunday newsletter delivery at

With love + style,



"We talk a lot here about daring to wear the red lip, the blue eyeshadow, the pink glitter – the kinds of products you’re so attracted to wearing but not convinced you actually will wear. Maybe you go so far as to buy it, but the time never feels quite right to put it on. Maybe you’re waiting for the right “occasion” but that occasion never comes. Maybe you do try it – over and over again with so much optimism – but it’s just not working. Days, weeks, and months go by, and that product that once felt so fun and inspiring now just stares sadly back at you from the bottom of your makeup bag.


I know I’m speaking to a lot of you right now because I read all of your messages… So let’s talk about a few different ways to come at this issue. 

One of you wrote saying that I’d been making you think a lot about how much you ‘adorn’ yourself on a day-to-day basis. You noticed that your makeup routine was more focused on “correction” and that you don’t often wear the most beautiful pieces in your closet… And you said something I think so many will relate to – “I’m led by my calendar and I prioritize what ‘needs’ to be done.” I thought it was such a powerful thing to notice, because so many of us go about our lives day in and day out and completely forget to prioritize joy. And it made me think… what would happen if you stopped trying to force it with that once-inspiring still-unused product in your drawer? Just forget about it for a little while. What would happen if you focused your energy on prioritizing joy instead? I’m not saying go to Disneyland every day and forgo all responsibilities. I’m just saying hold this in your consciousness and find small openings. Notice when you’re convincing yourself that joy is frivolous, and remind yourself that it is vital and energizing – whereas waking up every day and “fixing” your face, and only doing things you can check off your to-do list is actually pretty draining. See what kind of space that opens up for you, and let me know.


The next thing to address is this idea that we need to wait around for some “special” occasion to finally wear the special look. One of you sent me this great story about going shopping with a friend who tried on a fancy dress and looked stunning in it… The dress was in her budget but she was like, I have nowhere to wear this I’m not gonna buy it. Your fellow-reader had the most spot-on response, basically telling her friend – buy the dress and plan something! I loved reading that, and totally agree. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to come along and give you a special moment. And definitely don’t wait for somebody to ask you out – because at the end of the day this is about dressing to impress yourself. It might feel good when someone else validates how you look, and that’s okay, but if we focus our energy on that then we start to forget that we have the power to make ourselves feel special, literally any time we want.

Whether it’s a night out with friends, a romantic partner, or a work thing – it doesn’t matter, the point is in the preparation. The first step is to find a night that you’ll be able to give yourself at least one hour to get ready – better yet two, if you can swing it. Also let yourself have some fun preparing for it in the week leading up. Build a little time in to just be creative and think about your outfit and makeup, the same way a painter would prepare their color palette – or put together a playlist that matches the vibe you’re going for. Whatever works for you. The only rule is to have fun and follow your joy. And if you don’t have time for the prep just improvise. Set the mood lighting, put on your favorite music and try different looks until something makes you feel sexy, or energized, or chic – or whatever you’re going for. But try something new. Because while we might look nice whenever we do our go-to look, the goal isn’t ultimately to look “nice” – the goal is to feel something (to riff off of one of my favorite quotes). Think of it like romancing yourself – and don’t underestimate how energizing it can be to mix things up and surprise yourself.

My last note here is an important one… because sometimes you do all the work to make room for joy, you romance yourself, you work on having a healthy, inspiring relationship with makeup that isn’t focused on “fixing” yourself – and you put on red lipstick, or blue eyeshadow with total joy, until… it totally backfires. You followed all the steps in applying it but it just feels like it does not work for you at all, and now you might feel more insecure. I really appreciate those of you who’ve shared those stories too, because now I can see where I need to give more support, and go into greater detail on the nuances of application for different features. I really want to hold your hand and take you from that very easy, wearable look to the creative work of art you’ve been dreaming about.


So that’s coming, and until then, I promise I’m thinking of you and just know that your honest feedback is very inspiring to me. I’m still reading and digesting all of your responses in regard to the newsletter community / forum idea, so I’ll share more about that next week – but thank you SO much for all of your amazingly thoughtful responses. It’s been really enlightening.

Until next time, my inbox is open!


by Violette FR

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